只爱鲇的囧人生

自从某事务所把某人当成观赏鱼卖了,搞得这次的活动没兴趣的被迫去看想看的看不到(从一直都没有正式消息这点很早就猜到了),我人参最大的杯具就诞生了.于是,我生平第一次体验到了跟这辈子估计是唯一的机会擦肩而过的撕心裂肺的感觉,然后literally的闭关痛哭了好几天.等过了n天我终于鼓起勇气把碎掉的心重新拼起来,去看那些四处刮来的视频和在线播的时候,所有的拼接工作都白费了,心再次粉碎,一阵风,吹走了....

先说下那些走了狗屎运的幼苗们(原谅我措辞粗鲁...实在是,心碎的后果,随便x我就是)看到的那2场.其实从我所看到的效果来说已经算是很有爱了,只是实在心碎得厉害,就对其他方面产生了怨念.首先是那算是待客之道么连坐的地方都没有!还果然一如既往的把人家名字写错(据说是涉外场)!果然这就是天朝人跟国外的人办事的最大区别的了吧,只要是小事,细节,那就随便应付下,抱着反正又没有人看的心态去做,只有河蟹领/导来视察,才搞得隆重得跟那啥一样.你他x的以为细节就没人注意没人知道是吧知道我们为毛效率低整体工作质量差么就因为你们这些人这种小事无所谓心态,根本没花半点心思在上面!小事也是事!那个写错别人名字的,死去!!

还有那个翻译(湖大场?)的孩子...我虽然基本日白也想说,你也未免太orz了.哪有说一句翻一句的,你以为是上口译课做练习啊玛丽隔壁的!不说10句20句,至少3-5句好吧!要说得没那么抽象的话,至少要等别人说完一个完整的意群,有物可翻再开口吧!不仅基本上一句一句来,甚至有时候连一句都不到,几个词就打断鲇的讲话然后开翻o(╯□╰)o虽然我老人家学的不是日语,但是以我多年口译的经验,还是想(倚老卖老...再次pia我吧)对这位翻译的幼苗说,你太不够专业了!即使他停下来示意你去翻,如果根本话都还没有说完,你就应该跟他说続いてください,等他就一个观点发表完意见再翻.就是因为一开始就一句一句来甚至是主动去打断他,他后来才会说一点点就停下来好吧!

还有就是做口译最基本的常识no.1:用第一人称代入啊代入啊!内容是一样的只有语言不一样啊!!觉得不方便的话直接也可以说回答是...之类的,哪里有"他说..."什么什么的啊我的天啊捂脸啊!而且又是一个之前不做半点功课的,关于录节目的事情一问三不知,连sd的中文都不知道说什么那个打篮球的动画(我还么吐槽ss的车田正美||||)我吐血啊!语言功底和翻译经验有限我可以不怨念太多毕竟小语种是大学才开始学的但是sd都不知道是搞p啊,水平不到家至少要用态度来弥补吧!!两样都没有...赶快谢天谢地这次的听众是压倒性的日语系学生吧.不过话说回来如果是因为这个原因才不做功课,那么恭喜你,还么进社会就成了我上一段所说的天朝大众. it was never meant to be anything personal, though i know i went way too far.

我知道这3段很欠扁,有发泄个人怨念之嫌,谁觉得被offended了,随便拍砖.it's not easy to remain calm when the love of your life is practically trashed!当然,从整体质量上来说ms没有什么错误,以非见面会的标准来看已经很有爱了,所以只能从非鱼贩的角度去欣赏.虽然对于鱼贩(和专业翻译)来说还是很残念,我也只能强迫我自己去觉得基本知足了,本来就不应该用professional的眼光去看待的.

然后就是很让我想死的芒果台....我现在最想说的就是....我x你祖宗3万代!给我去死!!screw you!!! go to hell!!!!你既然请来嘉宾,却又一来把人家晾在一边二来喧宾夺主三来把别人的出场剪得七零八落,那为什么要请嘉宾啊!从鲇的出场时间来看,谁看得出那是录到凌晨2点,录了2次的结果啊!刚下飞机直接奔去录,搞到半夜三更,最后被剪到只剩下5分钟,你他x的是什么毛病啊!既然从一开始就是要把那几个主持人的耍宝当重头戏,又干嘛要请人来?如果不得不请,台上又已经只剩下耍宝的空间了,好歹也要让人家下去等吧,就那样干晾在那里,你mlgb的!先不说是中国人外国人,既然请了嘉宾,自然就是要把焦点放在嘉宾身上吧,结果却不给人家最基本的尊重,完全54请嘉宾的目的,把他们当成舞台上凑人数的,纯靠那几个主持人耍宝维持收视率,我看芒果台你也离没落不远了.

既然知道那个おじいさん在日本动漫界的地位,又怎么能够因为他在国内没有相应的知名度,就把人家当弱智/学龄前儿童一样耍,还说什么好可爱好可爱,根本是利用语言障碍在那搞怪.如果是听得懂中文的,被那样子搞,早气出心脏病了好吧!

至于他们对鲇做了什么...我简直是一边打这些字就一边想吐血!那个告白是怎么回事啊哪有强迫他去跟饭告白的啊!基本上真正的鱼贩都知道他对饭的立场,就算是在日本举行的任何活动,他都是绝对不会做这种事情的.芒果台这些人,根本就没有对这次请来的嘉宾有任何真正意义上的重视,也不事先弄清楚人家会不会有什么忌讳,一上台就强人所难要人家做这个做那个,也不动动脑子,要是那是人家不愿意的怎么办?如果请个穆斯林的嘉宾,因为没做过任何功课不知道这个背景一上台就要人家吃猪肉,你要他怎么下台啊我x!当然我也不得不说,那个孩子实在是幸福的,我听到鲇说出愛する、結婚してくれ的时候,真的是心又被狠狠撕裂了...

乱入:为啥我觉得纯正鱼贩一般会让他用白龙的声线或者新宿或者至少是朗读不思议工房那种声线...毕竟虽然白哉和部长是鲇最出名的角色,却并不是最能体现他声线特色的角色,真正的鱼贩would never have requested that voice, and would never have addressed him that way. What do you think you've made real fans feel?! RESENTMENT!!!

再来就是那个诗朗诵....看得我差点在屏幕面前血溅五步淹没了本本.首先想说一点题外的东西.那就是,那位据说是天朝元老级的配音演员,我并没有任何不尊敬她的意思,其实那个朗诵,以天朝的标准来说,真的是非常的不错,声音也好听,吐字也清晰,也很有感情.问题就在于天朝的标准!对于不同的角色和场合要倾注不同程度的感情,要根据角色的性格性别年龄经历设定等等使用并把握不同的声线,我觉得天朝的动画配音方面对这个完全没有任何一点认识.从我从小到大看过的配音动画(不包括tw的,他们的sd和touch之类还是很好的)和那个现场配的效果来看,很容易看出天朝只有两个标准:1.声音条件要好,像那位元老;2.要感情狂飙,或者大喊大叫.当然那个本来是爱情赞美诗你倾注点感情没什么,但是有必要搞成60周年庆祝活动演讲演说那种激情乱飚的程度么?太过了好吧.结果就是,听到天朝标准的配音和鲇配音的效果,一比较之下,高下立现,让人对天朝的动漫事业更加不抱有任何信心.唯一幸运的是,对于不恋声的人来说这只是看个热闹,恋声的本来也不看天朝动画,谢天谢地啊...以上仅为个人观点,说我先入为主也好崇洋媚外也好,请便.

然后就是鲇的那个朗诵....那么长的一段被剪得连个渣都没剩下,已经很让人想对芒果台说氧化钙了.虽然我日白,但是也可以看/听出,那个字幕基本上没一句是对的,反正鲇说的什么,字幕上那一句都刚好不是他说的内容.然后诗朗诵的时候就更加的夸张,字幕完完全全的错位掉.我听到鲇念一生一緒に生活するからだ(希望我个超级大日白听对了大部分)的时候狠狠的囧了,这啥来的啊,所谓的11区优美俳句?!!再仔细看/听就发觉那个诗根本是直接硬译成日语的,事先也没告诉鲇那是啥(因为说了是现场给他的<--但是那个翻译好歹可以在前面中文朗诵的时候跟他说一下吧你在台上是干嘛的啊!),根本就没有认识到声优要集中精力发挥声音上的特点至少要知道他自己念的是关于什么话题的什么内容,导致鲇完全看不明白是什么东西,就带着那种迷惑的表情很orz的念那些字.因为根本不知道是关于什么东西的什么内容,他只好下意识的稍微压低声音,满脸莫名其妙的一个字一个字去念.看到这里我他x的想杀人了啊啊啊啊啊啊!!!!元老级阿姨你们让她在底下准备了多久?!说什么好听的11区俳句,结果直接把那个即使在中文里也没有多少文学价值的散文诗字面翻成日文,也不告诉鲇那是什么,直接拿块板子让他念,还剪得七零八落惨不忍睹?!!!既然一开始就没有重视人家的打算,为什么要请来?!

看到这里我跟其他众多在网上狂骂芒果台的人一样,深深的为鲇感到不值!万里迢迢跑来,下了飞机就奔录制现场,一直反复录到凌晨,结果不仅做了无用功反复录的那些全被剪掉,而且就没剪掉的部分来看,根本没有给他(或者其他嘉宾for that matter)任何出场嘉宾应有的待遇,这个那个不准备好,一上来就强人所难,没说两句话又被晾在一边...这几个耍宝的主持人,你们的字典里有没有尊重这两个字?耍宝耍惯了的你们,要是有一天在任何节目上受到这种待遇,是什么心情?!!!看到鲇即使遭遇这些囧还是一直微笑着到最后,我真是心都在滴血啊!

不过再仔细一想,这种杯具是没办法避免的,因为天朝本来就没有重视小众文化的习惯.这次的活动(不是学校那2场,是说芒果台|||)又不是声优专场,硬要把面向小众的东西推向大众,一个两个都是没兴趣的,自然也就不会想到去尊重别人.这次的活动和上次光那个,本质上来说都是超级大杯具.相比较之下,次世代组织那个成大和kappei见面会,简直可以说是空前(虽然未必绝后)的成功.以后再有类似活动,都交给次世代吧,我也好有能看到的机会.

总之,很桑心,很难过.继续闭关痛哭.

我又选这个分类了orz其实跟这个类别没啥关系...总之,照例是前三篇的伪后记.

本来不想再做这种吃力不讨好又恥ずかしい的事情,但是今年的生日贺文没有其他内容,于是就继续下去了...勉勉强强算是上次的续吧.

结果明明篇幅比上次要短,难产(|||)的时间竟然要长得多,拼命分娩(orz)了吉尼斯纪录的12天,才终于生了出来.虽然确实部分原因是最近忙得不知道白天黑夜累得死去活来,但是主要是...太久没有摸那个语言,完全...没有感觉了啊啊啊啊啊!!我十几年的修行怎么可以短短的半年就毁于一旦啊什么世道啊还是说外星人脑细胞吸收了地球氧分子就腐坏了啊o(╯□╰)o本来想努力多在心理之类的地方描写点的,手指放在键盘上却发现,完完全全彻彻底底想不出来半个词可以用.尤其是形容词词库,简直就跟裂了条看不见的缝的水库一样,水在不知不觉之中,一点点流失了TOT

难道难道...是之前那个工作的关系?!虽然东西确实学得到很多,可是原本E-C和C-E相当均衡的一条轴,轴心就慢慢像E-C倾斜了大声嚎哭啊啊啊啊啊!

然后在内容方面...虽然不cj的我一向脑内yy得很xe,但就是因为太xe所以没有变成文字.于是下手的时候一边为了我几十年修行的话荒废而杯具,一边暗下决心不要搞成那啥那啥的...(到底啥啊|||)结果写着写着就yy了,然后,就把yy的内容写出来了,最后就发现,越写越出格了囧(虽然没有出格到我脑内的场景里去╮(╯_╰)╭)写到最后就发现,本来就缺少其他人物的,唯一的一个那个谁还变成了专门牵线搭桥的,跟某些AT文里的O么区别了(严重捂脸).于是这个故事就发展成了一人hc-->高人(噗)点拨-->采取行动-->心照不宣o(╯□╰)o回过头来一看我为毛生出了这么囧的东西来啊啊啊啊啊!虽然单从行动的尺度来说也许没有上次大,但是就结果而言,绝对跟上次是没得比的orz要是这么快就把纸捅破,就没内容续了啊!那之后的东西太xe,我连脑内都yy不出T_T

而且还发现,因为yy得太过分,完全变成了真正字面意义上的二人世界.为毛做到这个程度周围还么有人察觉...那是因为周围根本没人啊o(╯□╰)o当然之前那一次就注意到了这个问题,只是我可怜的智商有限,写不出那么丰富的人物和情节.这一次本来想着虽然智商还是没有提高(嚎哭),也应该努力尝试改善一下.可是仍然越写越hc和yy,再加上因为分娩(|||)过程太长,过于难产,思路早就不知道断线了多少回,就变成比上回还变本加厉的那啥,最后完全的二人世界(雾)了...

本来我是很xe的想,贺文每年写一篇,让这2人在我不cj的yy中暧昧的那啥那啥,然后每年发展一点,一直到几十年后我变成一枚老阿姨(呃...),那2人还是我yy中的形象的时候<--完了我已经在yy了...问题是,从我这次生出的产品来看,在这种(字面上的)二人世界的情况下,哪里还有生得出十几篇的余地,现在都已经那啥那啥了.难道要先维持个10年心照不宣的状态?!!

算了....除了S以外,下回让O也采取点行动吧,然后再考虑添点别的什么人.不然,就没办法保持勉强浮在bottom line之上的状态了,要是沉下去,就真的彻底orz了,cj的我(?)是没办法去想象的.

crap. can't believe what i've done.

But Orlando was not particularly impressed to hear this. He just chuckled as usual. "Why are you so convinced that I'm upset?"

"I don't need to be convinced, OK? I simply know that you are. How long do you think I've known you?" These words popped out before Sandoval could swallow them back. For a few seconds he wished someone could run him down the stairs in front the studio and knock him unconscious.

Orlando somehow seemed to believe that this was just a joke. "Really? This sounds more like something Terrence would say. I did spend a lot of time with him in the studio on those CDs...But then, why not?"

"Eh?"

"Dinner of course! No one'd turn down free dinner, right?" Orlando seemed to have recovered a bit from his sullen mood and began to leapfrog in his line of thought.

Thank goodness nothing embarrassing happened. Sandoval practically prayed in his mind for this. He could not really understand why Orlando did not react at all to such a not-so-subtle conversation. If he noticed what was going on and was willing to play along, Sandoval could be rescued from the inferno of embarrassment, but everything would remain exactly the same regardless of their respective feelings; if he did not, then why all the calmness...Sandoval forced out the thought of having to convince himself of either of the predicament, and stuffed himself into the car.

Thanks to their last ride together, this one did not seem particularly hard to live through, at least for Sandoval.

It was a haunt for many salarymen after work. They'd devour alcohol and whatever could be imagined would turn out true. For a while Sandoval wondered if this was the reason why Orlando also favored this place--anyone could do anything to just everyone (not taken literally though), and no one would raise an eyebrow.

"I'll...take the orders, for both of us." Sandoval grabbed the menu and pratically whispered into the waiter's ear.

"What's all the secrecy about? I don't even get to choose my own food?"

"It's not like that, just a surprise for you."

"..."

Seeing that Orlando was going to ask anyway, Sandoval continued, "I don't know what's been bothering you (surely if what Terrence said was true he'd already known, which he'd never admit though), but I hope you can look at the silverlining."

"Silverlining? I never knew you could be so...er, poetic, Sandy." Sandoval almost spat the tea hearing this, which of course, indicated that Orlando was indeed starting to brighten up.

When the dishes came, Orlando eventually showed a little sign of surprise. "Why the cur..."

"You said on last Thursday's program that what they'd prepared was very delicate and..."

"Hold on a sec..." Orlando's expression turned from surprise into astonishment, "You saw that program?"

"Not just that one actually, every..."

"So..." Orlando interrupted again, an extremely rare thing for him to do and cutting off Sandoval's even rarer attempt to be bolder once. "So you mean you know that today's..."

"Of course I know the occasion." Sandoval put on a serious tone and a serious face. "You do know that I don't do this sort of thing out of the ordinary." He finally took out the package which he thought would never see the light of the day and handed it over.

"Happy birthday, Orlando."

Orlando smiled. Not a big one, but Sandoval could tell it was a genuine one.

He opened the package and smiled again, with the kind of genuineness and sincerity Sandoval believed only he could tell.

"Thanks, Sandy, really. Your gift works like a charm."

The next morning Sandoval instinctively went to check out Orlando's blog, as he always did. The previous night's entry was there, and, very "Orlando-ish", with only one sentence, but one that could perhaps literally lighten Sandoval up for life:

The best birthday ever.

It was Sandoval's turn to smile.

END

"Can you cut it out? I'm so gonna have a heart attack!"

"Hey easy pal. I'm just telling you, don't get lost in the bush. The truth is crystal clear, and lying right in front of you."

You sound as if you know a part of him that I don't. Of course Sandoval could not say these actual words, and had to carefully paraphrase his intention.

"I'm just saying that...Is Orlando...Did he...Well whatever, just cut to the chase alright? What are you getting at?"

"Still suck at euphemizing, don't you?" Terrence smiled so intoxicantly that for a moment Sandoval thought he'd won a 1 billion lottery. "Have you read those lines we are gonna say for our episode? He's not happy to see us spending so much time together to start with, and those ambiguous and more or less...intimate lines just adds more to his sulky mood."

Sandoval's mind immediately went blank, feeling submerged just like last time when Orlando leaned on his shoulder, and not even sure if he'd completely aborbed the meaning in Terrence's words. "You sound as if Orlando's..."

"Oh man, give me a break! How long do you plan to live in your own fantacy? If you care so much about him , why can't you try to understand how he feels about others?"

Terrence's words resonated like apocalyptic thunderbolt roaring down, shattering all of Sandoval's fantacies. He had always been so obssessed with Orlando's emotional variations that he actually forgot to try to understand why. While he did ask Orlando what was going on, he was not expecting any real answers, as the latter never gave him any in similar cases. He'd grown accustimed to Orlando's dislike of public display of emotion, and had probably subconsciously decided to keep it that way. He was, undoutedly, scared that what he had had so far, though not much (if any at all), would be lost should anything change. He'd rather give up the opportunity of advancement just to hold on to what he'd had; not everyone was willing to take their chances after all.

Terrence's tone softened as he saw the expression on Sandoval's face changed. "You don't need to, and you can't walk away like this. Trust, me, he feels the same way about you as you do about him. Just as I told you, don't get lost in the bush."

"You really do know a part of him that I don't...how frustrating."

"Ah-ha! Now you are telling the truth. Don't be, I just got lucky. I get to spend more time with Orlando because of all those characters. Besides, you should feel happy, given what I told you just now. I'm not trying to patronize you, Sandoval. It's just that I want to see you guys get closer, it's so much fun, and drama."

Sandoval sighed again and gave Terrence an "I should have known" look. But then, he now knew that his feelings were not as well concealed as he believed them to be. Of course Terrence was an exception because they were very close friends. Yet the longer he remained restless about the status quo, the bigger the risk of letting everyone in on what he'd die before the world knew.

Having spent the whole afternoon plucking up his courage, Sandoval walked up to Orlando as he was leaving the studio.

"Er...need a lift? It's on my way home."

"Your way...." The "how-did-you-get-into-my-head" look was written all over Orlando's face. After a few seconds of hesitation he managed to finish the sentence which didn't seem to be what he'd intended to say. "I didn't know that you moved."

"I didn't....but you are not going home are you? You wrote on your blog last night that you 'totally forgot everything about shopping', so I just assumed that you'd go to that restaurant you usually....Let me buy you dinner tonight, just to cheer you up a bit."

Sandobal never thought he would ever in his life make such an offer, and was amazed by his own courage, which was more like a spur of the moment thing though. While he did indeed take Terrence's advice to go with the "straight ball" strategy, he still couldn't bring himself to look at Orlando. In fact, if he let this one chance slip by, he might actually never dare to ask again.

TBC

Sandoval came to the studio trying hard to hold back that smile on his face.

"Oh come on...don't do that. Everyone knows that you are smiling." As always, greeted by a taunting Terrence. "When you have exhausted all those excuses, do you want me to help you come up with one, or just go ahead and tell them that what's on your mind is all there on your face because Or...."

"Hey, hey, enough is enough." Sandoval cut in, "Just how much do you enjoy annoying me? We have work to do."

"Sure, right. Don't worry...won't stand in your way." Terrence chuckled and pushed Sandoval toward a very moody Orlando.

Right. Moody. Sandoval believed that he was the only one noticing this.

They were again dubbing for the same animation, and again in the same studio, different episodes though. Orlando smiled, made fun of others, and acted innocently as he always did. But somehow, not evening sure why it thus occurred to him, Sandoval believed that he was in fact quite gloomy.

This is no big deal. Just strike a...normal conversation as usual. Sandoval kept reminding himself of his last and weird experience which he believed would theoretically provide him with infinite courage, and walked towards Orlando.

"So...how are things going with your episode?" It was only after he uttered the sentence did Sandoval realize that this conversation was actually the first in which that he'd ever spoken to him first, without any obviously reason other than to say hi.

"It's OK..." Orlando almost instinctively responded, apparently a bit distracted. "What's the occasion, Sandy?"

Not Sandy again! Sandoval screamed silently, and at the same time amazed at how Orlando could respond as if nothing was on his mind. "Er...occasion?"

"Isn't it? I've always been, as I recall, the one to speak to you first, unless you are up to something."

The urge of vaninishing into thin air grabbed Sandoval all of a sudden; embarrasing silence ensued. He was even less embrassed last time when Orlando woke up to find him sitting by the bed. But then, he was absolutely positive that something was bothering Orlando. "up to something" just wasn't an expression that he'd easily use outside the context of a joke.

"Ah...sorry," Orlando seemed to have been pulled from whatever was distracting him back to reality by the silence. "I didn't mean that you..."

"It's OK, I know..."

The unbearably embarrasing silence somehow persisted. Sufficating...at least for Sandoval.

"You know what? You are right." He gave up all attempts of striking a "normal" conversation with Orlando. "I did have something...I wanna ask you about." This was indeed the reason why he came to Orlando in the first place, though he had to pretend otherwise--no one was supposed to find out that Orlando was upset after all, especially given that he'd concealed all such indicators.

"You....er...you seem...." it pained Sandoval to euphemize what he wanted to say, and he eventually decided to save all that trouble. "You look distracted. Something on your mind?"

"What?" Orlando lifted his head, looking straight into Sandoval's eyes, sounding quite...appalled, "I'm not...Did I do or say anything to make you feel that way?"

"Not really, no. I just...just knew. We've been working together on this animation for quite a long while." It then occurred to Sandoval that this was a terribly lousy excuse. Among all the VAs for this animation, he was one of those few that hardly get to spend any time with Orlando at all.

Orlando didn't seem to notice any lousiness, or perhaps he'd chosen to ignore that, still looking directly into Sandoval's eyes. "I didn't know you and your character share this much in common....in terms of insight of course."

"This is hardly insight." Sandoval tried desperately to turn away from Orlando's gaze, only to find himself somewhat obsessed with that pair of eyes, so deep and overpowering, penetrating his soul and probing into the most inner corner of his mind. "All I know is that you are upset. What's up, really?" He had to look back into Orlando's eyes; it'd better to just look away.

Orlando might not have seen such a straight question coming, and sat in silence for quite a few seconds before he could respond. "Nothing. Guess it's one of those game hangovers. Didn't sleep last night." He was called in for his part of the episode before Sandoval pointed out that he was a lousy liar. 

Sandoval sighed. He could not possibly tell anyone, particularly not Orlando, that he could tell the latter's mode simply from his seemingly innocent smile that he always wore. While it appeared consistent to most people, Sandoval could tell, probably from years of observation and attention (which was exactly why he could only kept this to himself), the difference between a genuine smile and a faked one. From the way Orlando smiled to everyone this morning, Sandoval knew that something was bothering him.

"I don't believe this," Terrence emerged, almost out of nowhere and scared Sandoval half to death. "You can tell that he was upset but you can't see why?"

TBC

本来其实5天前就打算更这篇的,但是这星期又忙又累又被各种各样的杯具消息和囧人囧事件连续重创导致心力交瘁,一直拖到了现在orz于是趁着将近24小时没睡,使用在极度疲劳的时候回光返照(|||)的一咪咪内力,拼命更了这篇!!

于是说我上星期终于拖到了09年的neo,看掉以后,我跟鲇一起杯具了,第一时间只有一个想法:何だこれ?!!

我说鲇你到底在紧张什么啊啊啊啊啊!就算很久没出现在neo上了但是这么多年来参加了无数的event了好吧你为毛一次比一次紧张啊喂!虽然不知道非鱼贩看出来效果怎么样,反正鲇所有的event我都可以根据他的表情动作看出来紧张程度,这一次的neo...真的可以说是登峰造极到湿太的紧张啊鲇你到底在干啥啊orz

因为有去年那个有爱到让我觉得就这么进棺材了也无所谓的遥祭现场版万象,这次拖来之前脑中一直萦绕的都是08年那跟cd版一样美好的现场歌声.结果拖了下来一听....瞬间杯具了!其实基本唱功完全没有退化,音调没有任何偏差,连沙尘那么多相当有难度的半音都把握得很到位(就是那种射击的时候无需特意瞄准也能正中靶心的感觉),而且不管是天泣还是沙尘,节奏和时值都跟cd版基本相同,速度算是控制得不错.可是,但是,问题是...即使是有着bh的基本功也完全无法掩盖他根本没有进入状态的事实!那个声音是怎么回事来的啊,已经不仅仅是没有用角色的声音来唱了,而是根本声优mode off,完完全全彻彻底底从头到尾是用的平常说话的人类(噗)声线在唱啊!

估计是因为对鲇的各种角色声音过于敏感+对语音学之类的东西本身也研究过一些,唱天泣的时候他一开口我立刻就听出来发音部位都全变了,甚至有些音连唇形都不太一样orz那几个我每次都hc到死的鲇式元音,尤其是え段和う段音,发音部位过度的靠后,移动到了差不多软腭的位置,因此声音就"顺势"跟着"沉"到了嗓子里,于是那种鲇式元音"圆"的感觉就没有了;お段的音更加是因为唇形不太一样,鲇式鼻音和"圆"的感觉都完全听不出来.几场以后那个沙尘也没啥变化,还是完全的没有任何声优mode在,只不过沙尘本身起调稍微低一些,跟他原本的声线的差距没有天泣那么大,听起来就反差没有天泣那么巨大而已<--当然我不是在说难听了,毕竟如果单以现场而论(再考虑到其他人唱的效果...注意这句没有贬义)其实已经可以的了,只是效果就不对了.尤其是有之前那个万象做参照,只会让人觉得鲇啊你明明有那么bh的唱功なぜ今度できなかった?!这次根本是平常说话的声音好吧,哪有一点声优的感觉在,更不要说角色的感觉了啊啊啊啊啊杯具啊!

更更杯具的一点是,我杯具的发现到这种杯具的效果果然是鲇过度紧张的产物.之前ms在哪篇bo文里面说过,在把所有入手的event全部钻研过无数遍以后,就算鲇做出很蛋腚的样子,我也可以从他那跟relaxed的时候完全不一样的表情动作(尤其是那个标志性的转头的动作)看得出来他的紧张程度.这次(至少我觉得)鲇的紧张已经提升到一定层次,即使不是鱼贩都能看得出了.不仅表情和动作都是僵硬的,更夸张的是那些个舞台动作...那种跟旋律上微妙的违和感,整个身体的僵硬的样子.以及同样的动作(近乎机械的)重复的频率之高,让人一眼就看得出来他其实全身每一个细胞都绷紧了,根本,完完全全没能放得开来.沙尘那一场还稍微好些,一来因为沙尘本身效果没有那么杯具,二来因为衣服的搭配实在太有爱(乱入:外加胸前露出大片雪白的皮肤哦哈哈哈哈哈...),可以稍微转移一下注意力.天泣那场就彻底那啥了...一来声优mode off造成的杯具效果比沙尘要杯具,二来没有那么有爱的衣服来hc,三来他唱完以后竟然...竟然...竟然(落荒而)逃掉了啊啊啊啊啊啊啊!!!!!看到鲇转身就走的那一瞬间我差点就想狂喊ちょっと！どこへ?!我说你到底要紧张到什么程度才能搞成这样啊TOT

然后就跟看/听完了这两首现场歌以后跟我一样杯具的囧亲讨论了一个晚上,鲇到底为毛会紧张成这样,虽然说他一向是不擅长应对人多的场合,但是这次杯具得太过了>_<于是我们得出了2个结论:1.就是因为他不擅长这种场合,所以做到尽量蛋腚就已经用去了全部的精力,其实已经没有办法再顾及到舞台动作了.马拉松上唱never surrender的时候就是这样,声音效果没有那么杯具的情况下的结果就是,手脚的动作跟音乐节拍没有合上,每一个动作都在两拍之间,害得对音乐和节奏这方面异常敏感的我没办法同时既听声音又看动作,被那种不同步的感觉弄得左右脑协调混乱orz这一次就刚好反过来,因为顾及手的动作去了,虽然做到跟节拍基本同步了(即使如此也还是整体僵硬的|||),就无暇顾及声音了,于是声优mode就没有能够打开.所以他去年的万象才会如此有爱,因为披了那个蜘蛛网他根本不需要有任何动作,也不需要有split attention,就可以去关注他的声优mode了.结果我们两个最终的结论就是原来那个蜘蛛网是鲇的声优mode的开关来的啊囧.

2.他狠有可能今年初那个新选组的event上吃了一次螺丝,多少留下点后遗症吧TOT那时候听到他说因为吃了螺丝对自己彻底失望掉了的时候其实我是很想痛哭一场的,鲇你到底是对自己有多严格的要求才会当众说出这样的话啊...但是(反正我主观上觉得)ms留下了后遗症,才搞得neo上那么紧张,再加上看之前那些有幸看到活鱼(噗)的人写repo说,这次的neo主要看点就是鲇,因为n年没出现大家都饥渴了(|||),而且确实他去的那3场,每次所有人上场的时候他都站在舞台正中间,这可是,的确是,以前(尤其是遥祭上)从来没有过的待遇啊!于是,新选组后遗症+受到了他(也许)想象不到的关注,于是,就紧张到杯具了.

在看多这么多年搜集的我能在网上找到的event视频后,果然发现鲇只有在跟熟人一起上台的时候(不包括纯talk)才会放松下来,也因此我只在马拉松的第97首歌的时候(开始到最后结束),看见过鲇露出发自内心的笑.于是我现在又对他前段时间去的ww的event充满无限的期待,等着现场版证和虽然是我痛恨的cp但是不得不承认歌确实很好听的(囧)tf合唱.

ps:这次neo的乐队在搞什么啊,天泣和沙尘两首的伴奏的电钢琴声都跟cd里完全不一样,又小声得要命又有点听不出调子的感觉,本来鲇就已经因为紧张过度而杯具了,配乐伴奏还那么囧,今年不是15周年么不要制造囧好吧!

ps的ps:果然是因为跟楠大叔又合作过ww的动画又合唱过那么多抽风rp歌又在死神里进行过南瓜大战比较熟悉么,鲇跟楠大叔那个现场drama的时候,就可以感觉到鲇渐渐的放松了一些,开玩笑的心情也有了,那个豚骨拉面的乱入,还有完全表现出白龙声音的私が直してあげる以及其他这样那样的台词和乱入,简直爆笑得再一次让我觉得就这样进棺材也值得了,不仅是观众,他们2个人+主持+旁边在听的其他几个声优,好像都忍笑到内伤了.

ps的ps的ps:今天(还是昨天晚上?)被令人杯具的消息重创,导致虽然已经累得要死将近一天没休息却不想去睡觉,因为一觉醒来清醒之后,发现我原本希望只是个梦的事情果然不是梦,是多么让人杯具啊!总之,攒机票钱+做好一个人孤身到不认识的地方旅行的觉悟.

以上.